Blog Title: Flip This Body

Taking inspiration from house flipping shows, I decided to take charge of my life and flip this body. I hope this blog will help others who are trying to lose weight to learn more about their options.

Dorm Room Workout

I tried out a new aerobics program on the Comcast OnDemand. It's called "Dorm Room Workout", and you can find it in the ExerciseTV section, listed under College Crunch Time. It's a 30 minute circuit video that is challenging without being too complicated. I am enjoying this workout because of several reasons:

One thing about the video that bothers me are the constant comments relating to "college life." For example, the leader will randomly spout out crap like, "Come on, push it! Get rid of that Freshman Fifteen!", "This will really get your body ready for those formal dances!" and "I know sometimes the buffet line is unavoidable, and it's ok to indulge once in a while, but try eating salads instead!" The comments imply that what really matters in college life (or life in general I guess) is how skinny you are. It really can wear on your psyche after a while. She kinda made me feel like I wasn't cool enough to be in her sorority. :-/

My favorite line, while performing TaeBo-like sucker punches: "Everyone has that English professor that they hate. Just imagine punching him!" Wow. Talk about motivation. Maybe 8 years ago!

If you don't have Comcast OnDemand, try clicking on the link above and you might be able to order it on DVD. It's definitely worth a try, especially if you are naturally talented at zoning out negative body image propaganda.

In other news, my new job is turning out really well. I am still not a permanent employee (I'm temp-to-perm), but I have a feeling an offer will be coming in the next few weeks. My boss and I are getting along really well now. I think it was just a matter of him getting to know me better --- building that trust. He's seeing that I'm a hard, fast and smart worker, and he likes that. He is a lot more personable now, and he even asks me questions about my life, like, "So, any big plans for the weekend?" You don't really notice how much you miss stuff like that, until they aren't there. I mentioned that I got cast in ANNA LIVIA and he was really excited for me. He said I should let everyone in the office know and they'd come see me. It's stuff like that that makes you feel more at home in an office environment. When your co-workers/boss show an interest in your life, it makes you feel more like a part of everything. Which is very nice. :-)

Anna Livia, Lucky in Her Bridges

I totally forgot to blog about the new show I just got cast in! It's called ANNA LIVIA, LUCKY IN HER BRIDGES, and it goes up at the Bailiwick Repertory on September 12th. Which is really soon! It's part of the Pride Series, sharing the stage in rep with another gay-themed play. I play the part of Ellen, the older sister to two brothers, living together in Dublin, Ireland, at the turn of the century. So that means IRISH ACCENTS! And RED HAIR!!!! They often refer to my character's "fiery red hair" in the script. So I will either be coloring my hair red, or wearing a red wig. I'm fine with the coloring, as long as it's done professionally. Not sure if that's in the budget, so we'll have to see. But I'm very excited to be back on stage again!! There are 3 other actors in the show (all dudes) and we start rehearsals in 1 week. I've got a lot to memorize so I'd better get crackin'. The script is very well written and I'm really looking forward to digging into it. It goes back and forth between 1904 and 2004, on June 16th (Bloomsday). Which is very fitting because my character is dating James Joyce. Yes, THE James Joyce. In a way, it's a ghost story. I'll try to post updates on how rehearsals are going, especially with my new early-morning workout schedule. I'll have to work extra hard to keep up with that, now that I'll be working nights at rehearsal. But I'm hoping to stick to it, especially since I've been seeing real changes in my body and the way my clothes are fitting. I'm trying to focus on that more and not worry about weighing myself as much. Ok, time for Mad Men!

Party pics

Mike's birthday was a blast! I'm exhausted from a busy and fun weekend, but I'm still getting up early tomorrow to workout before it's back to the work week. Here are some pics from the weekend I wanted to share.

Mike, going face first down the slide (not bad for a 40-year-old)

Bernie and Sarah, working on my awesome Birthday Wordsearch

You beat that 40, baby!

Mike's awesome guitar shaped cake (thanks to Mom)

Mickey, Mom and I, mocking Mickey's trademark psycho photo face

Party time! Excellent!

Today is Mike's 40th birthday party! I've been working over the past few months to get it all organized and ready, and I'm so excited the day is finally here!!! I worked with Mike's best friend Henio (who's a brilliant artist) to design the invitation and it came out GREAT! It was drawn comic book style, with this photo of Mike at age 20 on the front. HILARIOUS!!! Mike used to be an actor too, and this was an unused proof from a series of headshots that his friend took of him in college. Channeling James Dean, methinks? Needless to say, the invitation was very well received by all, and Mike was somewhat embarrassed, but mostly entertained. :-)

My parents were gracious enough to donate the use of their house and backyard in-ground pool for the party. Thanks Mom and Dad! I am so excited for all the tacky 40th b-day decorations that I bought, which Mike is unaware of. :-) Hee hee hee... Including an inflatable cane (which will be great for floating in the pool, and is also a stab at Mike's surprisingly large collection of canes -- because he's apparently 80 years old???) and a PINATA shaped like the number 40!!!! I bought old school candy to stuff in it, a mix of Mary Janes, Slo-Pokes, Bit O' Honey. Yummy and nostalgic! And I'm bringing some photo albums of Mike in his 20s/30s. I'm hoping his Mom will be able to dig out some albums of his childhood and bring them with her. Oh, I also bought him a t-shirt that says, "40: How the $%^&@# Did That Happen???" for everyone to sign. Oooh that reminds me to grab a Sharpie. We'll have 3 kinds of Baker's Square pies (cherry, lemon merengue and french silk) since Mike is more of a pie fan than a cake fan...but of course we still had to get cake for everyone else (um, hello? what's a birthday without cake???) so my Mom had this great idea to order a cake shaped like a bass guitar!!! Mike doesn't know about it (and he doesn't read this blog, so no worries) and I'm so excited for him to see it!!!

Well, I better get ready to go soon. The weather isn't bad, but I wish it were sunny. It's kinda overcast, with a chance of "isolated" thunderstorms. Hopefully those will be isolated far away from us. :-) I'll post pics this week!

Chuggin' along

I'm into my 2nd week of consistent regular exercise and I've got to admit --- I'm feeling pretty great. I can't really remember exactly when I started on this path, but that says to me that I'm even more invested in a change this time around. I'm not really dwelling on how long I've been having to workout, nor how long I will have to workout until I reach my goal. This time, I'm looking at it more like a routine change.

I've planned to workout Mon, Weds and Fri for 30 minutes and 30 minutes on either Sat or Sun. My new 15-minute work commute has allowed me extra time in the morning, so I'm taking advantage and working out as soon as I wake up. Getting the workouts over with first thing in the morning is helping a lot with my success rate. Just getting it done before I can talk myself out of it is really key. This has always been the problem with working out after work---I dwell on the idea of working out all day and I usually manage to talk myself out of it by the time I leave work. Then I sit around all night feeling tired from the day, plus ashamed that I didn't workout. With this new routine, exercise is a scheduled part of my morning, just like taking a shower, or making my bag lunch. I'm using the mindset of "It's just another chore I have to do before I can get to work."

The only problem is that I am not as coordinated or energetic right after I wake up, but then again I'm not all that great at the end of the day either. My best time of day to work out is like 11:00 am. At that time, I've had a little breakfast, I'm more alert, and I have a bit of a spring in my step. But that's just not realistic during the work week. So I will settle for slightly sleepy, kinda uncoordinated, but actually accomplishing something!

My eating habits are a lot better too. I think the exercise is helping to increase my metabolism. I'm also getting used to eating smaller amounts of food at each meal, and my body is not as hungry anymore.

In order to keep up with my healthy eating habits, I'm trying to schedule more non-food-related activities in the evenings. My problem is that if I sit around the house after dinner and just watch TV, I will usually get the urge to keep going back to the kitchen for another bite of dinner. And since sitting around the house watching bad summer TV programming is really boring anyway, I'm scheduling stuff that I really like to do that energizes my brain and keeps me occupied without the boob tube. One example is my voice lessons. I'm trying to keep up with these at least once every two weeks. It's helping me to focus on what I love --- SINGING! --- and it's helping me to work on new material for auditions. The excitement of doing something I love also gives me adrenaline through the rest of the night. I want to make more plans to go out and see friends for drinks/dinners after work. I'll just have to be careful to focus on the conversation and NOT the food.

So things are on the up. The job is working out nicely. I feel at ease, and in my element, as an Executive Assistant. It feels good to be back, doing what I know.

Sparkpeople Revisit

I am once again bored at work, so I thought I'd blog a bit about Sparkpeople. I've talked about Sparkpeople in the past; how it's the best free online weight loss website. But it's been a while since I talked about it, and I thought new readers might be interested in learning more about it. And just to be clear, I do not earn a single cent from SP. The website is just that great for dieters like me, that I want to make others aware of it's awesomeness.

Sparkpeople is a free online service that is great for anyone who needs help keeping track of their daily calories. When you first register, SP asks you a series of questions about your goals, your lifestyle and your fitness preferences. Then SP takes this info and creates a customized program for you. For example, it asks "How many pounds do you want to lose?" and "When do you want to reach your goal?" Based on those answers, the system can identify exactly how many calories you need to consume and burn each day leading up to your goal date in order to meet that goal. It's a pretty brilliant concept, if you actually stick to the plan.

Once you are a registered user, you track your daily calories/fat/protein/whatever you want to track in your daily food journal. The great part about the food journal is you can store the nutritional info from items that you have in your home, as well as look up foods in the SP food database. They've got thousands of items in the database, most with namebrands, and many items from fast food/chain restaurants. If you're like me, you often take food to work and forget to check the label before you leave the house, so you're not sure what the stats are while you're trying to log the food in your diary. No worries! Just do a search on Sparkpeople and you will likely find the item. And if you can't find something in their database, you can do a quick Google search for the item, and usually you can find the stats at the namebrand's website. Then, just log the stats in your journal and choose to save the item in your "Favorites". Then the next time you eat that food, you've already got the info stored and you don't have to look it all up again. It's really convenient for people like me, who have their standard healthy snacks that they eat frequently.

Another part of Sparkpeople that I love is the Fitness Tracker. This feature houses a database of all different kinds of activites, everything from jogging to vacuuming! Let's say you just did a 30 minute aerobic DVD. Just do a search for "aerobics" and select "30 minutes". The tracker shows how many calories you burned (this is estimated, based on your current weight and height, which you would have originally logged in your account settings upon registering, I believe.) Then it records all this info (your minutes logged, your calories burned, etc.) in your Fitness Tracker and you can keep up on your progress.

The site also has a very strong community. You can create your own custom "SparkPage" which is like your own website on Sparkpeople -- you can post "before" pics and tell the SP community a little about yourself. There are also TONS of SP message boards where you can meet thousands of users just like yourself. The boards are really great as a resource to make new friends, gain support from people with the same goals/lifestyles as yourself, and help get your questions asked about SP or nutrition/fitness in general.

Did I mention the Points System? It's really a silly thing. For each thing you do on SP, you gain points (for logging your food, logging how much water you drank, reading an SP article, etc.) The points add up as you use the different features each day and after logging a certain amount of points you can earn "trophies". The points and trophies don't really amount to an actual tangible prize... but it's a fun way to motivate people to use the site. I, for one, am very competitive, so the points are really great for me. It motivates me to check out new things on the site.

The final part of Sparkpeople that I want to brag about is it's sister site --- SparkRecipes.com. I have found so many awesome recipes on this site that are easy to make and my husband doesn't realize is diet food! :-) What's also great is at the click of a button you can transfer the nutritionals from 1 serving of the meal you just made from that new recipe and it will log it in your Food Journal. How awesome is that???? And of course, you can submit your own recipes to share with the community. I've found so many delicious recipes to use with my Crock Pot --- I honestly believe that slow cooking makes even the most low-cal of foods taste better (i.e. chicken breasts.)

So that's the end of my rant on Sparkpeople. If you sign up, mention that FLIPTHISBODY was your referral. I earn more SparkPoints for each person that signs up, and even though those points don't win me any prizes, I still get a kick out of earning them. And if you do register, make sure to create a SparkPage for yourself and ask me to be your friend. It's like the Facebook of Sparkpeople. Let me know if you have any questions about the site and I'd be happy to help!

Back in Business!

Hey folks! I got a new job! YAY! It's technically a temp-to-perm position. That means I had to interview for the position against other people, but once I was selected I was taken on as a "temp", with the intention to hire me eventually if all goes well. It's a nice arrangement for the employer and myself -- if I don't feel it's the right fit, I'm allowed to leave before it goes permanent and there's no hard feelings. At the same time, if they don't think I'm working out, they can tell my agency and I'll be out of a job. :-/ But it's really my job to lose. As long as I can show my boss that I'm good at what I do, eventually they will make me an offer. I'm told this takes an average of 3 months to happen.

So far it's going well. I'm working for an electronics distribution company, based in the Ravenswood neighborhood of Chicago. IT'S ONLY A 5-MINUTE DRIVE FROM MY HOUSE!!! And the parking is FREE and PLENTIFUL! AND if I move to the suburbs, the Metra train stops RIGHT OUTSIDE THE FRONT DOOR!!! Can you tell I'm excited about this? :-) I am the Executive Assistant to the Global Supply Chain Director, Tom. Tom is a nice guy, as far as I can tell. I've only spoken to him for 1/2 hour, when I met him for my interview 2 weeks ago. I started working here a week ago, but he's been in Singapore the whole time so I haven't even seen him yet! He's supposed to be back late tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to sitting down and asking him some questions. I was trained all last week by the woman I replaced. Not sure what her situation was --- it was pretty shady if leaving was her choice, or if she was asked to resign. Hmmm... Oh well! Tom is traveling at least 50% of the time, so I will be alone a lot. There's a lot of people in this office, but it's hard making friends because all the departments are pretty separate. I have become friendly with 2 or 3 people that have their desks near mine. Hopefully, if I get hired on permanently, I'll start making some friends to go to lunch with. That's always the hard part for me about starting a new job --- finding people I can enjoy spending my breaks with. My job consists mostly of arranging Tom's travel and managing his busy calendar. It's not rocket science, and I have lots of experience doing this from my job at the beauty school. Unlike my position at the hotel, I am very familiar with the tasks I'll be doing, so it's not a "fish-out-of-water" situation like it was at the hotel. I feel a lot more at ease in this position because I'm doing what I know. And that feels SO good. :-)

I also am getting back on track with my eating and exercise habits. Since my commute has been shortened now by 45 minutes, I am trying to use this extra time in the morning to work out. I've been finding success in the FitnessTV section of the Comcast OnDemand. There's a slew of aerobic and strength training shows on there that you can start and stop whenever you want. And it's FREE! I like trying new ones as often as I can --- I don't want to get stagnant doing the same routine too many times. Jillian Michaels (the super intense trainer from the Biggest Loser) has her workout videos on there and they KICK MY ASS. They are only up for a limited time though, because they are really just trying to promote her DVDs, so they give us free usage for now, and then they direct us to go online and buy her program. It's a great program that I'd totally buy -- if I wasn't getting tons of workout videos for free on this OnDemand thing!

I've been somewhat successfully getting back to my original eating plan. I found that sticking to the Nutrisystem way of eating (without actually buying the Nutrisystem products) was really working for me. (check out links on the sidebar to read archives of my plan) I've been a pretty devoted Lean Cuisine fan for a while, but a few days ago I perused the Weight Watchers SmartOnes just next door, and they had a lot of yummy options that piqued my interest. I stopped buying the SmartOnes a while ago because I was really bored with their offerings, but it looks like they've jazzed them up a little and I'm giving them another go. Especially since I notices that their WW Points values are generally lower than the Lean Cuisines. So I'll let you know how that goes.

I'm going to try to post more often on here. I'll definitely have more time to do so, now that I'm working a job where there are full weeks at a time where my boss is out of the office and I will have not a lot to do. He's pretty cool though --- he even said I should feel free to browse the internet if I was bored, so I'm definitely taking him up on that. I've been auditioning again, but nothing is panning out, so I think this Fall I will probably not have a show to do. But that's ok. I am hoping that more auditions in the coming months will lead to a Spring show. Then I'll have time to really settle in to my job and enjoy the holidays before adding another layer of craziness.

If you've been following my blog lately, or in the past, and you stop by, please leave a comment! I'm curious as to who's still out there. I feel like I've dropped off the face of the blogosphere for a while! Sorry about that, but, yeah, what can you do. Toodles!

Temping

You'd think that being unemployed would give me plenty of time and reason to blog? But I guess not, since it's been yet another 3 weeks. I think that blogging requires a true desire to share your story with the world. When you aren't exactly proud of your story, it's not as desirable to share it.

I've landed 2 more temp jobs since the last one. The 2nd temp job was at the same bank where they let me go for finishing everything so fast! I was put in a different department, subbing for an Executive Assistant who was out on a week and a half medical leave. Boy was it awkward when I ran into the person I used to work for in the last department --- the one who didn't even say goodbye or let me know that the job was ending, when she quite obviously knew. I pretended that I was happy to see her, and she followed suit by asking me how my interview went. Typical HR person! :-)

My current temp job is fine. I have to go through all these medical claims on a computer and print them out, and I'm talking like almost 2,000 of them. They have to be submitted to a lawyer by the deadline of June 20, and there are a lot more claims that are NOT in the computer that I have to look up in paper files that are arriving to the office tomorrow, and I am not looking forward to that. But at least it is work. And reading the other day that unemployment is the highest that it's been since the stock market crash of the 80s, well that's starting to scare me a little.

I do have some good leads on permanent jobs. My staffing agencies have been coming through with some decent opportunities, and I have an interview on Wednesday for a temp-to-permanent position. Which means that if they like me enough at the interview, they invite me to be their temp, and if I do a great job they might hire me full time. But at the same time if I don't like working there, I have the option to decline if they do want to make an offer, and I can also keep interviewing for other jobs while I'm there. The company sounds pretty cool -- it's a consulting firm where they come into your company and assess everything that's wrong with it, and then they create a strategy to reignite your company with new branding, new training for employees, creating new systems to become more efficient. Sounds pretty interesting.

I am doing a pretty good job of watching my calories during the week, while I'm at the temp job. I'm trying to eat smaller amounts more often throughout the day, such as an apple and string cheese, a yogurt, etc. But, as always, the weekends are hard to control. I think it's because there is no set routine, so it's harder to control my eating habits. I haven't been exercising at all really. Mike is determined to get back to the gym next week, so I will probably go with him. Might as well use him as a motivator since I'm not doing a great job of motivating myself now.

So that's about it! Some exciting stuff is coming up at the end of the month. First, I'm going with some of my old co-workers from the hotel to Wisconsin for a birthday celebration, and then the following weekend Mike and I are going with our 2 friends up to Michigan for a weekend at a lakehouse. I'm excited for 2 mini-vacations! Yayyyy!!!

Still on the Hunt

I'm still on the job hunt. I had a temp job for a little while. 5 days to be exact. I was getting ready to leave work at 4:55 pm yesterday and I saw that I had a voicemail on my cell phone. It was my temp agency telling me not to come back on Monday. They had gotten a call from my supervisor that I had finished all the work so fast that they didn't need me to come back, because there's nothing left to do. Mother. Fucker.

I was told that the job was "open ended", which I assumed meant that there would be plenty for me to do for a while. I guess it really meant that they didn't know how long the job would take. The answer? 36.5 hours. The kicker is that I had my supervisor sign my timesheet at 4:40 pm, and she didn't say anything. The time on the voicemail from my agency was 4:00 pm. So she knew that I wouldn't be coming back and she didn't even say anything when she signed my timesheet! No "great job, sorry we're out of work for you to do." Not even a "sorry to tell you this, but today's your last day." I didn't listen to the voicemail until after she left, so I had no clue it was my last day. I was seriously pissed. It just felt so shady, like she was too much of a pussy to tell me. I WAS WORKING FOR THE FUCKING HR DEPARTMENT TOO!!! You'd think that someone working in HR would be a little more upfront and sensitive. Whatever.

I did have a really great final interview last week. It's for an Administrative Assistant position at a top PR firm in downtown Chicago. I'm up against 2 other people and they should be making a decision next week. I really like the company a lot and I would be very happy if they made an offer. I also have a friend that works at the company, which definitely helped in the interview process. It's all about who you know. Seriously, if you are looking for a job, you should really consider reaching out to your network of friends for help. I have been so blessed over the years to find great opportunities through my friends. Companies take referrals from friends a lot more seriously. The job I applied for was posted on Monster.com and I'm sure that if I didn't know someone who worked there, I would have never landed an interview. For every job posting on Monster or Careerbuilder, at least 100 people apply, I'm sure. Not only are unemployed people applying for these jobs (people who really need them and are willing to do anything to land them), but also employed people who are looking for their next move to get out of their current situation. The competition is insane.

So I'm back in the temp pool; still interviewing for permanent jobs. I'm not counting on anything and I am trying to hedge my bets as best I can. I'm updating my agencies every few days to remind them I still exist. Some of my staffing agencies are being really great and helpful. Some are not. Some actually listened to what I was looking for in a position. Some just want a pulse and will try to submit you for a job that you clearly are not interested in. Some stop calling after you've turned down too many opportunities to be submitted. BUT, some are great and keeping calling, because they understand that there's no point in submitting you for a job you don't want, because even if you do get hired, you will probably not stay long and their client will be pissed.

I've been thinking a lot lately about writing. Like writing a novel, or a play. I have no idea what I'd write. Or even what I'd write about. Well, I'll have plenty of time to write, come Monday!

I was happy to learn a week ago that a replacement was hired for me at the hotel. Thank God! I was really feeling guilty about that for a while; knowing that my friends at my old job were having to do my job after I left.

I guess that's it for now. Not much to report on the weight loss side. I can report that temp jobs are bad for your diet, because they are so boring that all you think about is "what can I eat?" and "when can I eat next?" And since you are alone for breaks and lunch, and you're bored, you tend to eat more because at least it's entertainment. Food becomes something to look forward to; the ONLY thing to look forward to. And when I have people to eat with, I don't have such insane cravings. I eat what I have and then I chat. I don't have time to think about, "what else can I eat?" I tried shopping a bit this week during my hour lunch break, and found some cute shorts at Sears; but as I'm on a budget, shopping is definitely not as fun as it used to be. And even though it sucks that my best friend is also unemployed now too, at least I will have someone to hang out with during the day. But hopefully for not too long!

Gainfully Unemployed

I quit my job last week. I had been thinking about doing it for a long time, but I finally had an anxiety attack in the middle of the night last Wednesday. I was crying and shaking on the living room couch, desperate to get out of the situation ASAP. And in the morning I went into work and gave my resignation.

It is one of the hardest things I've ever done. When you quit a job that you wanted to work out so badly, and you worked so hard to get, you feel like a personal failure when it doesn't. I went into this position knowing exactly what was expected -- long hours, lots of paperwork, lots of clients to deal with --- and I gave it 1,000%, especially because I was not from the industry and I had something to prove. The hotel took a chance on me, and I didn't want to let them down. There is a tremendous amount of guilt in just picking up and leaving, especially when you've become close with the people that you're working with --- just knowing that they are going to have to be the ones to pick up the pieces after you've gone. But I had to do it. I've never been more irresponsible in my life. I've always been the one to do the "right thing"-- the one who always gave at least 2 weeks notice and did all she could to prepare the job for her departure. But I just couldn't do it this time. I had created a physical and mental aversion to my job. It literally made me nauseous just thinking about all the clients, all the paperwork, all the millions of things that needed to get done in such short periods of time, and the extra weekends, evenings and early morning hours I'd have to spend just being there to make sure events went off right. I imagined the rest of my life being chained to that place, with no ability to just plan a weekend away somewhere, for fear that someone might book an event that I'd have to work. And that's no way to live. It was not the right fit, and I knew it in my gut.

I cried and cried for 24 hours after I quit. The nausea started going away a few days later (Best Diet Ever, by the way) and I went to Miami with my mom to get away from it all. I decided to start contacting temp agencies right away, but not to worry about them while I was in Florida. I have to tell you, taking that break was the best thing that could have happened. Being away from all my worries allowed me to just let go of all the tension my body had been storing up for the past few months. I felt myself slowly letting go, my muscles relaxing as if I was getting a shiatsu massage. But it was all me --- I allowed myself to relax and my body was so grateful. I found myself falling into the deepest of sleep each night while away; sleep that allowed me to let go and wake up completely refreshed. I hadn't slept like that in MONTHS. My recent slumber ritual usually would result in waking up in the middle of the night at least once a night, remembering something I forgot to do at work in a panic. No more of that. I also found myself exhaling often; large sighs exiting my body in relief. My mom pointed it out before I realized I was doing it. In with the good air, out with the bad...

So it's Day 4 of Julie's Temp Agency Registration Week. I have registered at 5 places so far and will register at 2 more places by the end of the day. I should be able to at least start temping by Monday --- even though it will only be $11-15 an hour, it's something. My recruiters will send me on permanent job interviews as "right fits" become clear to them. I'm focusing now on only Mon-Fri, 8am-5pm jobs as an Executive or Administrative Assistant in the fields of Marketing, Event Planning, Education, Media, or any other creative fields. I'm also open to a non-creative industry, as long as the office is great to work in with great co-workers. I have 4 solid years of Admin. experience going for me at the same company, so that's a positive. If you can type, answer phones and run Microsoft Office, you can really get a job anywhere --- it's finding the company that I WANT to work for that's the tricky part.

Mike, my family and friends have all been so supportive in my choice to leave my job, and I am so grateful to them. They know that I wouldn't have done it unless I was desperate; and I was! While I still feel a little guilty, it's slowly going away; being replaced by some pride in making the right decision for myself. It took some balls to do that, I guess -- to put myself first. It's true that you gotta look out for #1. And it will be ok. We're going to get through this and I'll come out stronger. Yeah. :-)

Rollin' to Miami

I'm now almost 3 months into my new job, and it's going ok. There is a lot of stress involved in the position and I'm still not quite used to it. I don't know what it is, but very often I find myself hating it, wanting to quit. I'm just not feeling it, and I don't know if I ever will. I've been told by my co-workers and boss that I'm doing a great job, so that helps. But I just feel unhappy all the time. Often dreading going to work. Dreading the future of having to go to work. Dreading having to deal with whatever crisis another client or co-worker would bring me that day. I don't know if it's worth it----but at the same time, I don't know what else to do with myself. I don't know what I want and I feel that I just need to stay where I'm at for right now until I can get a better idea of what I'm looking for. It's not so bad that I can't endure it for a while. The job market is just so shitty right now that I can't afford to just pick up and leave without a plan. What I know for sure is that I cannot go back to my old company, even though it's been offered. That would be a huge step back for me and I must keep moving forward. I really like my co-workers though. We go out about once a week after work for drinks and fun. It's really nice to have people to bitch to who can relate to what I'm bitching about.

Bad news though. I've still been gaining weight slowly. I'm up to about 192 right now. It's really maddening. Mike and I make it to the gym at least once a week, and I'm still getting in my 30 min. of cardio a day walking to and from the train to work. And I'm trying to eat healthy. It's very frustrating. I caught an episode of the series "I Can Make You Thin" by Paul McKenna on TLC and he had some really interesting techniques to shift the focus away from food and boost your self esteem, thereby causing you to not think about food as much, become more confident in yourself and start eating like a thin person. For example, one of the main points of his program is that when you're hungry, eat. Sounds simple enough, right? But it really means, "only eat when you're actually hungry". It's a lot harder than it sounds. Another point is "when you're full, stop." I've really been trying to do this and I've found modest success most of the time. The trick is that is has to be used in conjunction with another point: "Eat consciously". Which means you have to actually focus on your food, chewing each bite around 20 times and really savoring each morsel slowly and deliberately. This causes you to feel full before you've devoured the entire plate. But then you actually have to obey the voice in your head that says "I'm full. I should stop now." This is apparently what goes on in the mind of most thin people: my husband for example. He ALWAYS leaves some food on his plate. He just STOPS when he's no longer hungry. Imagine that??!!!?? I have an extremely hard time stopping when I'm full, especially if the food is particularly delicious. There is no logic to this, which is the opposite of how I think. I am an extremely logical person. I do what makes sense. But when it comes to food, I am illogical. Thus is the challenge of my life.

In other, happier news, my Mom and I are going on a trip to Miami on Thursday for 3 days to attend my cousin's bridal shower. She is one of my most favorite cousins but we rarely see each other because she lives in Amsterdam for her job, but she's flying in to Miami for the shower our family is throwing for her (her parents live there and she grew up there.) She is getting married in Tuscany with a very small guest list, so we are using this shower as our opportunity to celebrate, since we won't be going to Tuscany. I am very excited to have some fun in the sun with just me and Mom and to see my Uncle Lenny, who is a hoot. Mikey will be staying behind to hold down the fort. :-)

So that's it for the past 2 months. BOR-ING! I know. Well at least Lost is back on this Thursday. So is Ugly Betty. YAY! Thank you TV, for giving us reason to live. :-)

Update

Hey guys! I'm three weeks into my new job and it's going great. I'm so glad I took the chance, stepped out of my comfort zone and made this move. It was a huge leap of faith, going to this new job and new industry that I've never worked in before. The hotel industry is SO different -- there are so many terms and acronyms and I feel like I've been saying "what does that mean?" every other breath for the last 3 weeks. But I'm finally getting the hang of it and seeing the bigger picture of what my job entails. I have some serious opportunity to make some major impact on this hotel with my position. I really have 2 jobs in one: I'm a Catering Manager, and also a Conference Services Manager. Which means I am in charge of selling food & beverage to all groups that come in here, but also I have to organize all the details of large groups that come in for a block of rooms and/or meetings. At a larger hotel, that would be 2 different people. But since the meeting space at my property isn't that extensive, and business hasn't been that busy in the past few years, the position is for just one person. BUT if I can really book some great business and create a need for another person, they will provide me with that. Pretty sweet.

I'm really getting along great with the people in my new office. I share a decent sized office with 2 other girls and they are great. I have 3 windows in the office, which is great because I've been living in cubicle land for the past 4 years and having direct daylight makes SUCH a difference. Plus sometimes the other 2 are running around the hotel, and it's just me in the office and it's nice and quiet --- and then I can pretend that it's my own personal office! Well, until they come back through the door, that is. :-) The only part about the job that is a major difficulty to me is the free all-you-can-eat employee cafeteria. It's fantastic to have free lunch every day. But the kinds of foods they offer are really bad for you. There is macaroni and cheese at least twice a week --- I'm talking about the really yummy gooey mac n' cheese that you used to have in the cafeteria in grade school. The comfort food that brings you back to a simpler, happy time. Luckily there is a full salad bar every day. So my strategy is to allow myself a little bit of whatever comfort food is there that day that I just can't resist, but then fill my plate up with salad. So far I guess it's working ok --- of course I have to grab a free chocolate chip cookie on my way up to my office. GRRRR!!! I am doing a lot more walking now though, due to the fact that I'm taking the train/bus into the city every day. I'm walking an average of 15 minutes per day, and getting my heart rate up there pretty good while I'm doing it. Now if I can just keep my food intake under control.

I really miss my friends from my old job. Not just because they are amazing and we clicked so well with our personalities, but we ALL were dieting TOGETHER. Every day we brought our Lean Cuisines or our Progresso soups. Now the girls I'm eating with are all about the buffet --- pretty much no one brings their lunch. And I know I could break outside the box and bring my own food....but it's just so free and yummy!!! Grrrr again. I need to do some serious thinking about all of this. I cannot allow myself to undo all of the good that I've done over these past 18 months. I've already undone at least half of what I accomplished.

But on to happier things!!! LOST IS BACK AND IT'S FRIGGIN AWESOME!!!! I am so loving the show this season. It is a high speed rollercoaster ride and I am loving every second of it. I am so happy to hear that the writer's strike is over and they'll soon be making more episodes. And my favorite Lost podcast, The Transmission, is back after a 2 year hiatus! Check them out on iTunes if you're a Lost fan. Great stuff.

Ok, I should probably do something productive. Thanks to everyone for your good wishes!!! I may be blogging less often, but I'll never be gone for good!!

Pop the Champagne

'Cause I just got a NEW JOB!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been holding on for a month and a half and it's finally official. I will be the Catering Sales & Conference Services Manager for the Ambassador East Hotel and The Pump Room!!!!!!!!! This is HUGE for me. For 4 years I have been working for a very nice company --- a beauty school corporation --- and I've finally decided that I want to put theatre on the back burner for a while and really try to make some money in event planning. I am so excited for this position!!! So my job will be to plan meetings and events at this hotel and in The Pump Room, the restaurant made famous by Frank Sinatra and so many other notables throughout the years. Everything but weddings. That's another lady's job.

I just wanted to pop on and share the good news with ya'll. I gave my 2 week notice today and I start January 28th. WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

2 lbs. down

I lost 2 lbs. this week. Yaaaaaayy!!! I've been going back to some old Weight Watchers recipes, as well as made some new Sparkrecipes, and it's really helping to keep me on track. I especially love coming home to the smell of something cooking in the Crock Pot. And knowing that the stuff in that Crock Pot is for me to eat, AND it's healthy??? It's the best smell ever.

Thumbs up to the "Sweet and Sassy Flank Steak" recipe for the Crock Pot that I made last night. I got that from Sparkrecipes. I swear they are not paying me to talk this highly of them. But it wouldn't hurt (wink, nudge).

Eat This, Not That

On the same lines of my last post, check out this website to see items from most popular fast food and casual dining chain restaurants: what you should eat, and what you should NOT eat at these places. (click the categories along the top to see at least 3 restaurant choices from each category: pizza, sit-down, Mexican, etc.) Of course, many of the items that they list as being on the "healthier" end are still on the most part not the BEST choices (some topping out at over 470 calories) they still do a good job of revealing the lesser of the evils, as well as revealing those items you may have thought were good for you.

For example, they expose Panera's Sierra Turkey sandwich (one of my all-time faves) for just how evil it is --- 840 calories!!! I guess if you can eat only 1/2 and save the rest for later you're ok, but eating the whole thing at once is a little scary! Who knew that eating one of their Crispani pizzas would be healthier??? Though you can only eat 1/3 of the pizza for the 380 calorie charge. Hmmmm... :-/ Other favorite restaurants that they expose are Jimmy John's subs, Chipotle, Taco Bell and Baskin Robbins, among others like McDonald's, Burger King, etc. I seriously want to print out some of these pages and keep them in my car so I know what to order at the drive thru. I think I'll do that!

The article was very helpful to see what items I should be paying more attention to at these establishments. I am avoiding these kind of places in general, but if I'm going out with a friend for dinner or I'm traveling, sometimes I will have to purchase something from one of these places. It's good to be prepared!

9 Health Foods That Aren't

I came across a very interesting article this morning. The article was promoting the "Eat This, Not That" book, but the article was mainly about nine foods that may be considered "healthy" that are really not healthy for you at all. Among their list are such faves as Chicken Caeser Salad, Turkey Burger, Bran Muffins, and Tuna Melts (duh.) The reasons why each item were considered unhealthy were very interesting --- mostly having to do with the misconception that these items are low in calories because they predominantly use "healthy" ingredients. It was usually a sauce or high-calorie bread that causes them to be the opposite. Check out the article here.

Sparkrecipes.com

I just wanted to take a moment to write again about the fabulous Sparkrecipes.com site. I forgot that it existed until I logged in to Sparkpeople yesterday (for the 1st time in a while...) It's a totally separate site that is like a Sister site to Sparkpeople, filled with healthy recipes from real people that use Sparkpeople.

I had defrosted 2 red snapper fillets to eat for dinner last night, and I was going to just do something basic with lemon, herbs, butter substitute, etc. But I was curious to see what Sparkrecipes had on red snapper. So I simply typed in "snapper" in their search engine and a whole bunch of recipes came up, including one called "Cayenne Snapper". I made it last night, all from ingredients I already had in my pantry and it was deeeelish! It's basically Blackened Red Snapper. It was nice and spicy, but you could totally make it more mild by cutting back on the cayenne or red pepper. Have you found any gems on that site, or on other sites you'd like to share?

By the way, if you want to join Sparkpeople, put me down as your referrer... "FLIPTHISBODY" is my user name.

Hungry Girl's Top ATE Tips

I wanted to share this great list put out by Hungry Girl this morning.

Top ATE Tips for successful eating in 2008:

2008 To Do List

Hey everybody! It's been a while. I wasn't planning on blogging again anytime soon, but Jessie's post on her 2007 goal list in review inspired me to make my own list for 2008:

1. Lose the 15 lbs. I've gained back since May 2007. Large goals are important, but what's even more important is to set obtainable, reasonable goals. I know I can get back to 172 --- I was just there 7 months ago! Gosh, was it really that long ago that I was at my lowest since starting this blog???

2. Buy our first home. Soon we will have a good down payment ready to go and we are both ready to become homeowners. The ideal would be a single-family home within the Chicago city limits (north side -- preferably a bungalow), but I don't think we're able to afford that just yet. I am hoping for a nice townhouse.

3. Cook more often. I've been watching a lot of the Food Network lately and with all my new kitchen tools from the wedding gifts, I am really progressing in the kitchen. Now I've just got to keep it fresh and healthy and in smaller portions. And not order delivery as much.

4. Revamp my wardrobe. I am just continually uninspired by what's in my closet. I have a lot of solid colored shirts with very little detail. BORING! My problem is that I do not like shopping, period. All the people and navigating the stores is so ANNOYING. And shopping for clothes is even worse, because I do not fit into most clothes. Also, I am in that in-between size of 14/16, which is the highest size in most regular stores and the smallest size in the Plus Size stores. I know what I need to do --- shop more often! And not just when I NEED clothes. I need to force myself to shop on a more regular basis in order to find those perfect pieces.

Ok, 4 things to do this year. That sounds like a good amount. A measurable, obtainable list of goals.

What's on your list?

Just checking in to say hi. This is the longest stretch that I haven't blogged. 3 weeks! It's not that I don't have anything to say, I just don't feel like saying it I guess. Yeah, I'm pretty boring right now. Really boring I'd say. I'm sorry you have to read this!

Ahem, is this thing on?

Wow, I really haven't had much to say lately. Or at least not much to type.

The audition this weekend was a bust. I thought I had an "in" with someone, but I guess it didn't matter. Well, that's showbiz!

In good news, our wedding photographer chose one of our wedding photos to use in his ad! Actually, he submitted 5 wedding photo options of various couples to Brides Chicago Magazine. And they picked us to use in his ad!!! For a full year of quarterly issues!!! It's one of the pics of Mike and I jammin' out --- him on his bass and me with the microphone. Yeah! We are also one of the samples on www.mychicagowedding.com --- look under Jeremy Lawson Photography and click "view brochure" -- we're one of like 6 photos he's got up there as samples. Woo hoo! People keep asking if we're getting paid for it. And my gut reaction to that is, "Who cares??? We are famous in a bridal magazine!!!" I would make a great reality show contestant.

So....what else? That little diet. Yeah, whatever happened with that? Well, last week I was really good. Tracking my food on Sparkpeople, went to the gym (once), but then the weekend happened and lots of food was really yummy and ... yeah. What's up with my motivation? Not sure where that went. It's so darn unpredictable these days.

Does anyone read this anymore? I hope I'm entertaining someone. Because I'm sure boring myself to death right now.

Here's a random tip: when your cable bill goes up because the special rate period ended, just call them and give them the sob story that you really think you need to cancel because you can't afford the regular rate, and they'll totally put you back at the special rate again. I did. :-)

Checking in

I know I haven't posted in a while. I haven't felt like it. After that whole swollen leg from the wasp incident, I was afraid to go back to the gym until the antibiotics had run their course. I finished them last Wednesday and I'm going back to the gym today. I also want to get back on Sparkpeople today to track my calories. Nothing much exciting going on. But I did go on an audition last week, and I'm going on one this Saturday, so cross your fingers. I don't want to talk about it right now, but I will once it's over. It would be a very fun show to do and I'd be very excited to play any part in it...even a bum on Skid Row... :-)

Life Lessons

One of the adventures of our honeymoon included a tour entitled, "Escape to Paradise" with a company called "Tours de la Bahia" (tours of the bay). This is a pretty broke-ass tour, though I did not know this at the time of booking the tour through our hotel's travel agent. The tour was to take us to places in the nearby Sierra Madres, to small towns and hidden-away waterfalls. We did experience both of those things, but on a broke-down bus from the 70s, with air conditioning UNITS at the front and back of the bus that (I kid you not) would spill a bucket of water with each pothole we hit. They took this 30-passenger monstrosity of a bus (which should not have even been on a public road) up a gravely, unpaved narrow path up the side of a mountain. Just one wrong move by the driver and we could have tumbled down the side of a cliff to our death. Luckily, Mike and I were sitting on the mountain side of the bus.

At each stop we did experience beautiful scenery and breathtaking waterfalls, but the bus was really a problem. So much so that on our way to our lunch stop, the bus broke down. In the middle of the jungle. Luckily we were 3 minutes away from the place we just left, and that place has a restaurant. Our tour guide said that unfortunately there is no cell phone service out there, and there is no phone at the restaurant (????) so the driver was going to try to fix the bus, and as a last resort she would try to send word with another tour company that was driving through to call her company and tell them to send another bus. So with any luck we would be getting back on the original broke-ass bus to go back down the mountain. Yeah...

SO, we settled in for a nice lunch with a couple of cervezas at El Eden, overlooking a waterfall. It was very nice. Unfortunately, while perusing tchochkes in the gift shop, a Crazy Jungle Wasp stung my leg. I managed to pull the stinger out of my calf, but already I started feeling swollen. The waiter slapped a paper towel drenched in tequila on my leg and sent me on my way. (I made sure soon after to use some hand-sanitizer on it too) We got back on the (now "fixed") broke-ass bus to our final stop, at the Don Crispin Tequila distillery STORE. Not the real distillery, because that was another 20 minutes away and we thought it best to not tempt fate. While visiting the tequila store, I started noticing hives along my right wrist and my right arm was turning bright red. The left side of my body was fine. I cooled myself down with a couple cans of Pepsi (one to drink and one to ice my leg) and was totally ready to get back to the hotel.

Another hour later and we were back at our room. The rest of the night we stayed in, as the stinger made my leg very sore, like someone had kicked me hard in the calf. I limped to the door to answer room service. :-) The next morning (after a heavy dose of Advil and room service) I was fine! My leg didn't hurt at all and there was no sign of swelling. The rest of the week went along fine and I didn't have any problems at all.

Then Tuesday (almost a week after) I went to workout (I know, for the first time in months, right?) and I noticed the skin around my sting was totally enflamed and red, about the size of a baseball, and it itched like HELL!!! It was still like this the next day, so I got a doctor's appointment. I went in yesterday and wouldn't you know, it's infected!!! My doctor said it's probably some bacteria that was on my leg got into the wound at some point that day. The reason why symptoms didn't show up until a week later was because the infection had now penetrated into the deep tissue and was causing a stronger reaction (that's what she said.) I was given the antibiotic Cipro (which you'll remember from the Anthrax scares after 9/11) and now have 7 days without calcium or iron, which slows down the effictivity of the drug. BOO!!!

Stupid jungle wasp ruins everything!!! Well, I'm sure glad I went to the doctor. I was sure she would say, "Oh it's nothing, just put some cream on it." But I guess sometimes it's really serious! They also took blood to test to make sure I don't have any other crazy Mexican diseases. Mother fucker. No matter how much our country may be screwed up, we generally have it very, VERY good and I thank God for modern medicine.

FOOD Meme

*GASP!* Two posts in one day??? It feels like the old days again! Well, I have been tagged by Laura of From Sparkly to Spouse with a food meme, so I simply could not resist. Note to Laura: I just had to go back and change all the "favourite"s to "favorite". You crazy Canucks! ;-)

1. How do you like your eggs? Eggs Over Medium, which I did not know was an option until a few years ago. I always ordered Sunny-Side-Up or Over Easy, but always felt they were too runny for my taste. Then one day I overheard someone in a restaurant order "Over Medium", and I was like BRILLIANT!!! Been ordering it ever since.

2. How do you take your coffee/tea? Coffee: 2 Splenda, 2 creams. Tea: love Pomegranate tea (thanks Mo!) with 2 Splenda and sometimes milk. Argo Tea makes a GREAT "Pom Tea" which is Red Tea with a light Pomegranate syrup, and less than 80 calories for a big glass (I think Argo Tea is a Chicago chain store). Also love Bubble Teas, but not sure if that counts as "tea". The tapioca beads in mango smoothie are the BEST!

3. Favorite breakfast food: Eggs Benedict. And Apple Pancake from Walker Brothers. And Corned Beef Hash. Did I mention I have an overeating problem?

4. Peanut butter: Smooth. Lately I've been using "Better N' Peanut Butter". Yeah, it's ok, but it's not the same. Anything with N' in is not to be trusted.

5. What kind of dressing on your salad? Ranch if I'm feeling indulgent. Usually any of the Newmann's Own Light dressings, especially the Sesame Ginger, Honey Mustard or Balsamic Vinagrette.

6. Coke or Pepsi? Coke. Did you know in Mexico it tastes more like Pepsi? Not sure what Pepsi tastes like there, though.

7. You?re feeling lazy, what do you make? Trader Joe's Frozen Gnocchi Alla Sorrenti. I usually buy 2 of these each time I visit TJ's, cuz they are like $1.99 and a full meal for 2 adults. This already has the tomato sauce frozen in the bag in small discs. And the calorie content is way low for how good it tastes. And I throw some frozen shrimp into the pan too, which I've defrosted under the tap.

8. You?re feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order? Pepperoni. Deep dish from Giordano's. Thin crust from Leona's. (I know, I didn't know Leona's did great thin crust either until someone forced me to try it. It's awesome!!!) Doughy hand-tossed from Bacci Pizza Express by Wrigley Field. When I feel fancy I call in to Homemade Pizza Company and pick up a pepperoni and goat cheese pizza and bake it up in the oven when I get home.

9. You feel like cooking. What do you make? Something resembling jambalaya. It's really hard to fuck up rice, peppers, onion, turkey kielbasa, tomatoes, shrimp, chicken and cajun spices.

10. Do any foods bring back good memories? My Mom's brisket: So many Jewish holidays worth; I can taste it right now. It just falls apart in your mouth. We Jews call that "gedempt".

11. Do any foods bring back bad memories? Anything with Jack Daniels. It was in college.

12. Do any foods remind you of someone? No, just me, eating it.

13. Is there a food you refuse to eat? Bananas. But not because I don't like them; because I'm allergic. They make my mouth itchy. This makes me sad because I quite liked bananas before they made me itch. Foods I don't eat because I dislike them: celery, cucumber, most melons.

14. What was your favorite food as a child? Was then, is now, and always will be: Cheese and French Silk Pie from Baker's Square. Not together though.

15. Is there a food that you hated as a child but now like? Tomatoes

16. Is there a food that you liked as a child but now hate? No. This also doesn't help my eating problem.

17. Favorite fruit and vegetable: Fruit - mango. Vegetable - do potatoes count? If not, carrots.

18. Favorite junk food: Cheetos (baked are actually better than the original) and Edy's Slow Churned Double Fudge Brownie

19. Favorite between meal snack: Cheese & crackers

20. Do you have any weird food habits? I'm not even touching this one...Do you think I'd have a BLOG about my weight problem if I didn't have weird food habits????

21. You?re on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on? Yoplait Thick N' Creamy Light yogurt, fruits, almonds (in small amounts), side salads, Fiber One bars

22. You?re off your diet. Now what would you like? Where to begin??? Cheese, Chinese food, Mexican food, Indian food.

23. How spicy do you order Indian/Thai? Mild-medium

24. Can I get you a drink? Water or Lime LaCroix. A Diet Coke or coffee if I'm tired.

25. Red or White Wine? White. Chardonnay usually. If eating steak I'll go with a Cabernet.

26. Favorite dessert? French Silk Pie. It's perfect. Pie crust and chocolate mousse and whipped cream and pieces of chocolate on top. 'Nuff said.

27. The perfect nightcap? One large chocolate covered Bing cherry from Trader Joe's

I'm tagging anyone who is reading this who wants to be tagged! Let me know if you post it.

Back on the wagon

Hi everybody. It's been a while since I've posted anything about my weight loss journey. Not just because of the wedding, but honestly I've been going backwards for a while now. The scale this morning said 182. Ugh. It could be worse, I guess. Based on how much I ate over the past 5 months, it SHOULD have been much worse. So that means I have only lost 20 lbs. now, going backwards 9.5 lbs. from my lowest weight of 172.5.

I will not be so hard on myself because it was a very emotionally draining time in my life. And now it's over. And now I'm moving forward; the only direction I can go. As of yesterday, I recommitted to my healthy eating habits. And today I go back to the gym for the first time in what seems like forever: Free of fear of injuring myself, free from all the stresses that I let stop me from going in the first place. My body feels like it wants to be there. My body is sore from the inactivity of the last 4 days. We were very active for most of the honeymoon--- swimming, hiking, walking---and I can feel my body wanting MORE.

I'm not sure where this puts me in Jessie's Biggest Loser Challenge. I don't even remember what weight I started at when I signed up! I think I'll tell her to put me back at zero and I'll start new this week.

I'm also going through the confusion of trying to get my name changed. Since I know I have a few bride-to-be readers out there, I wanted to share this website I found that was very helpful. It's the only website I've found on the issue of "name change due to marriage" that doesn't cost anything and points you towards the right documents on other websites. Not sure how helpful this will be to those living outside the US, but check it out anyway. It's maintained by a lawyer who said he started the site because he felt bad for new brides trying to find out the correct info on name changing, as it's a very convoluted process that can differ from state to state. www.bridelaw.com